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After trauma, I became the abuser — I’m trying to stop

A reader says therapy revealed that childhood trauma and an undiagnosed neurodivergence have led them to become verbally and emotionally abusive in a new, otherwise healthy relationship.

Published Apr 3, 2026, 6:50 AM EDT | LehighValleyLive

Dear Eric: For years I was in a toxic, abusive relationship. Fortunately, I ended it and my family and friends supported me along the way.

Now I’m in a new relationship with a healthy person but the tables have turned. Through couples and individual therapy, I have realized that, due to an undiagnosed neurodivergence and childhood trauma, I have become the abuser (verbally/emotionally).